It was very painful but I have moved on. I still cry sometimes but those tears are no longer because of bitterness or for blaming myself or my work or whoever for what had happened but because I just miss him. I miss my second baby, Kyle Arwin. I still don't know why it happened that way and why on the 35th week of my pregnancy but I'm certain that God has reasons for it and He did that because He knows what's best for me and my baby. Slowly, God has showed me (and continuously showing) His reasons …I needed to go hands-on with the new house we've finished building…Tons of boxes and bags to unpack in the new house...Zach still needing my breast milk even after his second birthday…No additional yaya can fit in the house...I want to go back to the US...all of them, I could not have done if I had another baby to care for.
And now, I'm here at Minnesota; miles and miles away from my Zach Owen and my labs, Jerry. But who knows, they might come over to be with me so we can go to Disneyland (Florida or California) together :) Well, only God knows! And for whatever He does in my life, I'll just trust Him because I know, He has a reason…for Everything.
